How to Reset for the Year Ahead

One way is to organise a self-hosted meditation retreat.

A few hours ago I bowed to the meditation cushion for the final time this week, completing my five-day silent meditation retreat. It wasn’t my first. But it was my first self-hosted retreat that I’ve done by myself. I’m yet to open my inbox or the news, let alone social media, enjoying the clarity of mind that comes from solitude and meditation.

So, if you ever thought about self-hosting a retreat, read on.

First, why would you go on a meditation retreat? Reasons are many, from deepening your meditation practice to being curious about what it’s like to stay face-to-face with your thoughts without distractions. For me, it just felt like the right thing to do this week.¹

Second, why a self-hosted retreat? Usually, a few dozen meditators are led by a teacher on a retreat. Why can’t we just sit at home alone, like I did?

I don’t recommend doing self-hosted retreats unless you’ve been to several normal retreats, have an established meditation practice and have a decent idea of what you’re doing. If you feel you must, start with something modest, like half a day.

There are three reasons why retreats are normally led by a teacher. First, it’s far easier to maintain the discipline required to meditate as part of a group. Second, a teacher can adapt the retreat on the go based on how everyone is doing. Third, a teacher is there to answer questions and assist in spiritual emergencies.²

Third, how to prepare? You need to cover the logistics and think through how to approach is.

The logistics are a place to stay and food. If you’re in the UK, try an Unplugged cabin (a startup by Hector Hughes, a fellow substacker). Otherwise, there are plenty of remote cabins on Airbnb. Staying at home in a separate room is also an option if your family are supportive. Food-wise, just don’t make my mistake of buying too much.

Then, how do you approach the retreat? At a minimum, create a schedule based on what you know works well for you.

I ended up modifying my schedule on the third day. First, I added an hour of yoga following some feedback from my lower back. Second, I started combining sitting meditation into hourly blocks and replacing some walking meditation with naps.³

Another change I made was to start using guided meditations. At first, my intention was to do a purely silent retreat. After two days, I reconsidered and started using guided meditations by Henry Shukman through his excellent app The Way and Adyashanti on Waking Up.

So, have a plan in terms of a structure and how you want to meditate: guided or not. Even if you modify your plan, it’s far better to have a plan than to have a completely open day. Also, consider how you’ll ease into the retreat and leave it: gentle transitions will work better than abrupt ones.

The last bit is to decide on some other rules you’ll follow. You certainly want to stay offline, away from news, emails and other distractions. Whether to make an exception for a quick daily check-in with friends and family is up to you.

Likewise, you may decide that you won’t read or write anything or you might make an exception for some books. Your prior experience on other retreats will be your guide here.

So, as you see, it’s not too complex. For me, the benefits of doing it are the clarity of mind that felt completely unattainable a week ago. Plus, my meditation noticeably deepened on the fifth day, as it usually does for most people on a good retreat. It feels like a proper reset before 2025, for which I have big plans just like all of you!

Let me close by reiterating my warning above. Don’t do a self-hosted meditation retreat if you haven’t done a few normal ones. At the very least, start small: even half a day or a day can be quite powerful. It really doesn’t need to be long.

But if you have some meditation experience and have been wondering about organising one for yourself, go for it! Don’t be too ambitious, the point is not to sit still and make an effort until smoke starts coming out of your ears. The point is to learn what it’s like to be alone with your mind with an attitude of openness, curiosity and determination.

What you will find is worth the journey.

P.S. Happy New Year 🎄🎄🎄

1. Last week, a friend observed that when he began to meditate years ago, he knew why he was doing it. Now he doesn’t know why he’s meditating but he knows it’s important, so he continues. I think this is how it should be. At first, we think we know. Then, we don’t know anymore but we know we must carry on. Eventually, it all makes sense, I’m told :)

2. On my first retreat, my mind was in such a turmoil that I was in no position to judge what was a normal meditative experience and what was “me going crazy”, let alone know what to do. A teacher is there to support you when your mind feels like disintegrating.

So, if you’re running a self-hosted retreat, decide in advance who you will call in case you must speak to someone who will understand what you’re going through — a meditation teacher or an advanced practitioner.

3. The rationale for this would be another post. In short, the meditation needs to combine effort with ease. Too much effort and it becomes a joyless, dry chore. Too much ease and it lacks the discipline required to persevere through the difficulties. There’a a middle way there somewhere. Stopping drinking coffee at the start of the retreat helped me realise I was more tired than I thought I was.