Choosing meaning over comfort

To leave your comfort zone or not stops being a choice once we understand what's at stake.

Jul 07, 2024

Imagine you're 22, fresh out of university with your first job. The world feels like your oyster. You're brimming with excitement for your evening date with someone fun and attractive. Everything just feels right.

Now, consider two possible futures:

In one, this perfect moment stretches on forever. You're caught in an endless loop, blissfully unaware that you're reliving the same day. Nothing changes, but nothing hurts either.

In the other, life unfolds with all its complexities. You'll face heartbreak, disappointment, and health scares. You'll shed tears and experience pain. But you'll also grow.

Which path would you choose?

The answer seems obvious – the second one. But why? What makes us prefer a life of potential suffering over perpetual bliss?

It's simple: meaning. The second path offers something invaluable that the first one lacks – the opportunity for growth. And growth, with all its challenges, is profoundly meaningful.

The first option is a flawless but empty existence. The second – real life – is messy and painful, but it's also rich with potential for meaning.

Let’s dive deeper into why it’s worth seeking growth even when it’s challenging.

Why seek growth?

We've all heard the mantra: growth happens outside the comfort zone. But why chase growth when it comes at the cost of pain and effort? Why not just stay cosy in our comfort zone?

Here's a provocative thought: our lives aren't solely driven by our conscious decisions. There's a deeper force at play: a life force seeking expression through us.

If you try to sit still and not do anything, you’ll be amazed how much — thoughts, sensations, desires — is still happening. Life continues to flow through you, regardless of your conscious desires. It's not random; it has direction.

When we cling to our comfort zone, we suffocate this life force. We resist the very essence of what's trying to emerge through us. The price we pay is the meaning we could have found in our lives. This void of meaning is often the silent culprit behind depression.

So, the real question isn't "Why seek growth?" It's "Can we afford not to?"

Meaning versus comfort

Carl Jung wrote,

The spirit of evil is negation of the life force by fear. Only boldness can deliver us from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated.

Deep down, we all know that a meaningful life trumps a merely comfortable one. It's why we're drawn to tales of adventure and purpose, not stories of cushy, uneventful existences.

Life constantly presents us with a crossroads: Leave the safe corporate job for a risky startup? Confront relationship issues or stay in comfortable denial? Speak up against injustice or remain a silent bystander?

But these decisions aren't just about careers, relationships, or social justice. Scratch beneath the surface, and you'll find they're about something far more profound: honouring the life force within us, even when it pushes us into uncharted territory.

When you're at such a crossroads, ask yourself: "Will this choice make me bigger or smaller?" Listen to your gut. It knows which path leads to growth, meaning, and a life well-lived.

Once you grasp what's truly at stake, you realise it's not really a choice at all. Ignoring the life force seeking expression through you isn't just playing it safe; it's a betrayal of life's very meaning.

Honouring our life force

One of my favourite quotes (full quote here) is from Martha Graham:

The question isn’t whether this life force, this energy, this quickening is inside you — it is. The question is whether you have access to it and know how to honour it.

Once you start listening to it, you will intuitively and directly know that living in alignment with this life force is more important than the goals that your ego comes up with.

Staying in touch with this life energy also helps us summon the courage to face our fears and step outside our comfort zone. It doesn’t make our choices easy, but it makes them meaningful.

Outside our comfort zone, we find not simply growth but meaning and the very sense of being more alive.

The destination unknown

Perhaps our deepest fear isn't the difficulty of our choices but the unknown direction they'll take us. These choices will forge us anew—we may end up with scars, but we'll certainly have stories to tell. They'll transform us, expanding who we are.

If we could foresee our exact transformation, it wouldn't be much of a journey, would it? It's like stepping off a cliff — we're trading comfort and control for something we can't fully grasp yet. But that 'something' holds the promise of vitality and meaning.

Ultimately, our journey through life isn't about avoiding pain or seeking perpetual comfort. It's about embracing the full spectrum of human experience — the joys and the sorrows, the triumphs and the failures.

By honouring our inner life force, facing our fears, and choosing growth over stagnation, we don't just live — we come alive.

So, the next time you're at a crossroads, remember: the path of growth may be uncertain and challenging, but it's where you'll find your most meaningful, vibrant self.

Dare to take that first step into the unknown. Your future self will thank you for it.